Networking.
I’m getting demoted in 5 days.
It's the mid-2000s, and I’m a temporary manager - a summer assignment to support the busy season. It’s also a tryout. I’d been an operations manager for years at my previous company, but this is my first manager gig with this organization. I’d spent the past year doing everything I could to earn a promotion. I picked up extra hours. I cross-trained in every available position. I navigated the interview process. I was an easy pick for the talent pool in December and received my temporary assignment in March.
Now, it’s the end of October, and I’m about to lose my job.
Why (not) me?
I’m the only person on the team without a landing spot. My role was briefly extended, first for a month, then two. Senior management offered to keep me on through the holidays, but I said NO. I joined the company to learn new things, make a difference and have fun while doing it. This position wasn’t checking those boxes, and staying on wouldn’t help me get a permanent role.
After consulting with my assigned mentor, I rejected the extension in favor of exploring other openings. He called me into his office a week later. Apparently the news didn’t go over well. No one was willing to consider me for a position on their team. It wasn’t because of my ability. It was because I said NO.
After two years of nonstop YESes, I was done after one NO.
In search of learning.
I’m disappointed, but I don’t regret my decision. There are plenty of reasons to move on. For instance, I wasn’t scheduled for a single management training course over the past 6 months - despite my requests. I still completed most of the program. I just went to class during my time off. Thanks to an informal arrangement with the scheduler, I figured out how to position courses around my shifts. My boss didn’t notice.
The company’s annual leadership conference is taking place this week - my last few days on the job. I’m still a manager, so I’m qualified to attend. But guess who didn’t get scheduled for it? I’m going anyway - on my day off.
The conversation.
As I walk into the event hall, I run into Lisa, one of my former managers. She’s been a big advocate for me since I joined the company. I appreciate her knowledge, frankness and enthusiasm. Lisa transferred to another team after I was promoted, so she’s not up-to-date on my progress. I tell her about my decision and its repercussions.
Lisa agrees - the situation sucks. She assures me that I’ll find another opportunity in the future. I thank her for the ongoing support, and we part ways.
My phone rings the next morning. It’s Steve, Lisa’s new boss. We’ve never met. Steve tells me about a manager position opening on his team next week. He says Lisa suggested me for the role and asks if I want it - without as much as a single interview question. I do my best to respond with a calm, professional “yes” instead of the “YESSSSSSSSS!!!” I’ll scream once I hang up the phone. It’s the first time I’m offered a position I didn’t have to apply for.
What are the odds I’d run into Lisa who happened to be familiar with my capabilities AND work on a team with an open position just days before I was getting demoted?
Well …
I’m bad at networking.
I didn’t understand the corporate world. I was raised to believe, if you worked hard and did a good job, people would notice, and you’d be rewarded. That’s how things went for me … for a while. After a few years on the job, I started running into barriers hard work couldn’t overcome. It turns out people’s opinions of you often matter more than how well you do the job.
Networking events were common in college and during the early years of my career. I’d suit up, print newly-refreshed resumes and attempt to casually mingle with people I didn’t know and probably couldn’t help me. It was like trying to score a phone number in a bar. Spoiler: I’ve never scored a phone number in a bar.
The whole networking thing remained a mystery to me - until I was forced to think differently that October. I loved the company. I’d worked hard to create my opportunity. But now I realized no one was going to hand me my next one, no matter how hard I worked or how good I was at the job. It was time to find my own path forward.
What really happened.
I didn’t run into Lisa by accident.
Once I realized I wouldn’t be offered a position, I made a list. It included everyone in the company who had supported me so far. I sorted the list based on one critical factor: influence. I ranked people based on their perceived ability to influence decisions. I considered their positions, tenure, teams, bosses, etc. Who was at the top of the list?
Lisa wasn’t in a position to give me a job, but I knew she could be a powerful advocate. I did my research and found out about the opening on her team. There wasn’t time for a formal meeting. I didn’t know her well enough to ask for a favor. So, I arranged for us to run into one another at the leadership conference. If she was empathetic to my situation, maybe she would come up with the idea to recommend me on her own?
BINGPOT!
Turns out, that conversation was more important than I realized at the time.
If I don’t join Lisa’s team, I’m sure I would have been promoted at some point. However, I wouldn’t have been available to take part in a big training initiative the following year - my first formal L&D role.
If I’m not on that project, I won't meet the person who would recruit me to another company several years later.
If I don’t join that company, I won't get to know the Axonify team as their 7th customer, which leads to the creation of my current role.
That 5-minute conversation started me on the path to where I am today - a path grounded on hard work and reinforced by relationships. Thanks, Lisa!
The problem with networking.
“Networking” is the wrong word. It’s scary and transactional. It reduces relationships to a list of email contacts and social media followers. It asks “what can you do for me?” I prefer “connecting.” It speaks to the give-and-take nature of human relationships. The more effort you put in, the stronger connections become, the more trust you get back.
I wish I had known this at the start of my career. Perhaps then I wouldn’t have had to arrange an “accidental conversation” to save my job. Instead of trying to make it on my own or relying on networking events, I should have fostered personal connections, gotten to know more people during the 6 months prior. Maybe then someone would have trusted me with a role on their team - even after I said NO.
One thing this week: connection slots!
Reserve two 15-minute slots in your calendar every week in 2023. Try to fill at least one slot each week with a connection session. Send a chat invite to a new LinkedIn connection. Follow up with a peer you met at a conference. Build consistent time for fostering connections into your busy workflow. This will help you stretch beyond the four walls of your current role and nurture relationships that could prove vital in the future.
Coming up: ITK returns!
In The Know is back on Wednesday, January 18 w/ special guest Jenifer Calcamuggi, Director of Learning and Talent Development at Shake Shack. Find details and sign up to join the live (virtual) studio audience on LinkedIn. Binge watch the entire ITK catalog of fast, fun, insight-rich videos at axonify.com/itk.
Next week, I’ll share the 2023 LearnGeek Innovation Cycle.
Be well. JD